I think a lot of NICU parents would say that the experience feels like some sort of ride or combination of them. Mine was a combination of a rollercoaster, the old bucking bull ride on Bourbon St. that threw me off, and a merry go round and around and around.
It was a merry go round filled with emotions and obstacles that kept us spinning. I didn’t know which direction the days or nights in there would turn to. We had so many questions and concerns about our 29 weeker, Gem, during our first NICU journey. Although we learned a lot about the NICU during the 80 plus days we were in there with Gem, we still asked many questions during our 2nd journey with our 31 weeker, Jax.
With Gem, it seemed like we would take a step forward one day and the next day we took a few steps backwards. If you have heard Keith Sweat’s song Merry Go Round, then you know he cried throughout the entire song. That is how I was in the NICU, especially the first time around with Gem. I’d be walking down the halls crying and whining that I didn’t want to leave. Meanwhile, my husband use to say that he would rather me leave the NICU during the day time since leaving at night was much harder for me emotionally. At least when I left during the day I would hold on to the thought of going back up there to visit and give Gem and Jax goodnight kisses.
Now, I didn’t come here to whine about my NICU journey, but to empower you to advocate for your baby. A lot of the times I may have sounded like I was whining when I spoke up or expressed myself about something. Sometimes me speaking up came with tears, runny mascara, and a crackled voice. I remember looking forward to getting Gem and Jax ready for their nighttime check-ins. Check-ins involved their tiny diaper getting changed, a bath, changing their hand picked sheets, getting their weight, and the opportunity to do “mommy things” with limitations due to wires and other NICU stuff. When I let the nurse know that I wanted to take part in the nighttime process I was able to do so frequently. The only times I didn’t do it was if I couldn’t be there or if I just needed a break and didn’t feel like doing it while I was there.
The point I’m making is that if you have to cry to get your point, feelings, questions, concerns, and/or comments across then CRY! That is a form of advocating for you and your baby!
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